I.O.U.S.A. & W.

Recently I went to see W. at a theater. It is a well shot film, and I walked out the theater not feeling much about the movie or the charcters portrayed in it. It does give a perspective on George W. Bush and the path he has walked so far. The film has a neutral flavor to it such that it is not trying to cast a judgement on Bush being a good or a bad guy, but only to show as a matter of fact, what shaped him into the president he is today.

Yesterday I caught a chance to see I.O.U.S.A. at a local college screening. There was only about 10 people in the auditorium; I thought it would be full. The film is a documentary, but it painted a picture for the US financial future that is so bleak that made me cringe. It was a powerful message, purposely made to act like a wake up call to Americans. Some parts of it are exaggerated, but it is overall informative and gets the message through. It tells us about our federal budge deficit and how today's situation compares to all other times in the history of the United States. It gives some projection for the future and claims that if we don't do anything to change the course, the government will be paying social security, medicare, military, and the interest on the federal debt and have no money for anything else by 2030. Most likely income tax will have to double and a lot of the government programs will have to shut down. By that time, the fed won't be able to fulfill its social security promises and thus bankrupt.

I recommend you see both of these movies. If you care about your future, get your voice out there and vote. Some people have doubts about whether their votes will matter or not. Think about it, if enough people think this way and end up not voting, then it will surely matter. So everyone should vote unless they don't care about their own future.

The World Around Me Today

In the past few months, I spent my days with Jenn and we are having a great time. Perhaps it is the best times of our lives so far. Jenn used to be bored when she comes home and so she takes up activities like organizing social events or other similar leadership roles. Now she just comes home and relax, because it is fun for her to relax now. We watch TV for some entertainment. We don't have cable, so there is only one channel: NBC. I like this channel; it is entertaining. We watched the Olympics, Deal or No Deal, Heroes, Friends, America's Toughest Jobs, America's Got Talent, ER, Office, The Biggest Losers, Knight Rider, and sometimes local news at 11pm. TV is pretty addicting, and it messed up our plan to sleep by 10:30.

Recently I have gotten more interest in houses. I keep an eye on the local housing market to see how the supply of residential homes change, and what kind of houses are available for sale. We go to open houses on Sundays when we see some we liked. I also got interested in the principles of green and sustainable building techniques. I like to have a house that is energy efficient and built to last. Many of the houses built today are not built to last. Some doesn't even last as long as their 30-year mortgages. What a shame. In my area, even the luxury homes of 500 to 1000k are not impressive. They seem to try to include many amenities and use high quality materials, but I would say they are only above average for me. Another trend I see is that high end homes are usually big in square footage, like 3600 sq. ft. and such. They are often better built and use nice hardware, but they are not suitable for young couples or small families. The movement of green building has not come to this part of the country yet. There is one reputable solar installer in the area, and the NYSERDA is working on renovating properties to be LEED certified, but I think it's still far from mainstream. I wish more people know about the value in orienting their house for southern exposure to benefit from natural sunlight and heating. After we moved to the new apartment in July, the unit faces south, and we now come home to naturally cool rooms in the afternoon, as opposed to toasty room back in the old west facing apartment. We only turned on the AC once from July to now, and we find the morning sunshine enjoyable when we step outside. Many homes I see are oriented in an inefficient way and that's the first thing I use to filter out the homes I will consider.

Another interesting topic this summer is how do I go about building my own house? There is a good website at www.byoh.com for Build Your Own House. There it tells you the things you need to know to start building a house. It makes good arguments for doing it, but I can imagine it will be a lot of time commitment. If I can, I would like to build one. The reason that they don't build houses to last is probably the price they can sell a house for does not depend on how long the house last and more on what they look like now, so the kind of house I am looking for is not popular or is less profitable to builders. For now, I am pretty happy with our apartment, and if we get a house, I would like one that is less than 2000 sq ft and built with good craftmanship. Oh, and the front should face north with south facing backyard for growing vegitables.

More recently I have been hearing about the turmoil in Wall Street and the collapse of some financial firms. I wonder how are those people working in those firms are faring now. These bad news got many people concerned, even researchers in technology companies. I do see my retirement mutual fund at an all time low since I started investing last year. My account is 12% lower in value than when I put it in, but I believe in the long run, it will be okay. I just wish I have more cash to invest now that the price is lower.

The presidential election is coming up in a few weeks, and I am not hearing as much coverage as the financial crisis. I think these problems are bigger than the president can handle but I will go out and vote on Nov. 4. I have checked up the candidate for the different offices I can vote for in this district, and one thing I saw was that the candidate I wanted didn't win the primary! I was disappointed because I didn't put in the effort to vote in the primary. The remaining running candidates are less ideal for my ideals so I won't be voting for either of them in one of the elections. The issue I care the most about is how to become energy indepedent. I believe that being a large importer of foreign fuel is the biggest issue that affect our national security, our economy, and our lifestyle. The fossil fuel is not a renewable source of energy, and the fact that it is limited will drive counties to ever more conflict. Maybe so much so that counties will destory each other before this resource is fully depleted. We must invest in renewable energy in a much greater way for a bright future.

Fall is Here

Yesterday was my last day of my internship. I spent the day wrapping up documentation of the work I have done, and said goodbye to some of the people I know. It was a good ending to the summer. The internship was a total of 17 weeks and I have learned a lot in this time. I have also gotten a job offer to come back next year when I finish school. Everything went well this summer. I feel blessed that I was given the opportunity to have this internship and meet these people. Now my path has been set before me, and I will follow it to see where it will lead me.

I have gotten positive feedbacks from my colleagues and boss about my organization and planning skills and being punctual, what I need to work on is developing my technical skills and establish a good reputation among my peers so I can define and steer future technological developments in my area of expertise. All this sounds good to me and I will take these advice and develop my career in this phase of my life.

Summer

Summer is here and I am starting a summer internship soon. Will it be the beginning of a new chapter in my life, or just a side note? I hope it is the start of something new and exciting. Sometimes I hope the future will come sooner because I want it to be good and have a happy ending. Right now there are many uncertainties and I don't really like to operate with too many unknowns. My brain works better with numbers and factual statements like I will do X on day Y. Recently I've noticed that I don't remember things well. I am not sure if I am always like that or my memory has gotten worse. I still have trouble eating mushrooms but some people tell me it is good for brain functions.

Amy has come to the East Coast to visit me and Jenn and my mom. We are having a good time doing many fun activities. After rock climbing and canoeing, we were pretty exhausted. I feel my arm has gotten thicker by a quarter inch. It is nice to feel strong. I want to do more of those activities. It is more fun than lifting weights in the gym.

Last night we were watching The Heartbreak Kid, where a 40 year old guy who had been apprehensive of marriage finally decided to marry a woman whom he met and dated for 6 weeks. After that, he found many things about her that he doesn't like. The movie seems exaggerated, which makes it funny. I think when two people come together, they go from two very unique individuals with their own strengths and pitfalls to become one unit that sort of has the best parts of both. That's what I think a successful union, but it takes a lot of effort, compromise, giving, and love to achieve. It is not something just happens automatically. It doesn't stay that way forever either; it requires constant maintenance too, because people are constantly changing, however slowly that may be.

So what is marriage? Some people don't think the act of marriage is important in the sense that you get a piece of paper from court saying you are married, and now you are allowed to call someone your husband or wife. There is a difference in how people perceive you if you have a girlfriend or if you have a wife, and people may not take you seriously if you are not married. One thing for sure is that the act of marriage, along with the ceremony, tells everyone that you are committed to sharing your life with someone until the end of time. This is the ultimate commitment and the most important part of the whole act. Why do you make such a big deal out of it? I think the commitment is stronger than anything else, including those to your parents and children.

I think in a harmonious family, spouse comes first, then your children, and then your parents. Some people think they should place their parents first, but there are 4 of them, which one do you listen to if they don't agree among themselves? Some parents may educate their children to place parents first, but that's a selfish act in itself. I don't think that will create a harmonious family structure. Children should be next, because you didn't choose your parents, but you chose to have children, so your responsibility for their well being and future is greater than that for the parents. I am not saying parents are worthless and you should ignore them and let them live their late life in misery. Parents no doubt contributed a lot for who you are today, and they often prefer to spend time with their children and need assistance from the children, so I think you should try your best to accommodate them if you have the resources to do so. If you don't, you might regret it when they are gone.

The Economics of PhD

While walking home today on a lonely road at 9 pm today, I suddenly realized something important that never crossed my mind before. If doing a PhD is similar to a real job, then what is its performance metrics? I've heard the saying, "publish or perish", which means professors and graduate students are judged by how many papers they publish each year. But it costs money to run a research lab, lots of money. Where do the money come from? They come from grants and deals that the professor has to go and seek out. The professor writes proposals and try to convince a number of different organizations and sources to fund a particular research project. While doing one project, a grad student can explore related problems and propose new possible solutions, which in turn can be used in new proposals for continued funding. Thus a grad student should be judged by how well they can come up with these deal-making proposal materials in a timely manner, because professors have to pay a lot of money to fund each student.

I would say that is one of the most important thing to realize as a grad student and it's something I need to work on.

Turning Tides

Such an irony. Yesterday morning I was all perky and ready to roll, and by the end of the day I felt like a total disaster. It's because I am not meeting the expectations of my PhD advisor. I think I aint' even clear about what they are. The worst of all, I just live my daily life in a routine and never think about the future, until today. It's like a sudden slap on my face and a wake up call, hello? Ouch.

But it is for the best of everyone's interest that the ugly truth be revealed and corrected ASAP, before more damage can be done. I appreciate my advisor bringing it up becuase that is really my responsibility. I should be grateful; I am.

The question of the day (or maybe for the rest of this month and the next) is, what do I find passionate about and what I want to do after grad school? I find these questions hard to answer. A lot of things just seems okay; not bad, but not great either. The extreme cases would be projects that I have to force myself to do it, or things I can't stop doing or can't wait to start the day with. I rarely have these things in my life. I will be using my free time to look for answers.