Turning Tides

Such an irony. Yesterday morning I was all perky and ready to roll, and by the end of the day I felt like a total disaster. It's because I am not meeting the expectations of my PhD advisor. I think I aint' even clear about what they are. The worst of all, I just live my daily life in a routine and never think about the future, until today. It's like a sudden slap on my face and a wake up call, hello? Ouch.

But it is for the best of everyone's interest that the ugly truth be revealed and corrected ASAP, before more damage can be done. I appreciate my advisor bringing it up becuase that is really my responsibility. I should be grateful; I am.

The question of the day (or maybe for the rest of this month and the next) is, what do I find passionate about and what I want to do after grad school? I find these questions hard to answer. A lot of things just seems okay; not bad, but not great either. The extreme cases would be projects that I have to force myself to do it, or things I can't stop doing or can't wait to start the day with. I rarely have these things in my life. I will be using my free time to look for answers.